Our gear is super high quality and awesome. You are also awesome.
These are the best BEEPing shirts you've ever BEEPing seen. And they're comfortable as BEEP.
Our hoodies are soft and cozy and will not meet any standards for body armor or cybernetic enhancement.
Hats go on your head. We know this because we have been studying humans for a long time. Our hats do not have mind control nanotech ports.
We also sell random stuff like pillows and mugs. Space these evenly around your home and we will definitely not be able to map your 3 dimensional space in real time.